With

I heavily sighed.  My husband had no problem falling asleep.  But me?  I had tossed and turned. Tried every single thing I could think of to calm my racing heart, and slow my overactive mind.

When you ask a woman "What's wrong?", and she replies "Everything." ....Believe her.

I can worry about the dog, my grocery list, my sons ACT test, buying school supplies, my destiny, the quality of my marriage, if I returned a phone call , how I've failed as as a mother,  and watering my plants...ALL at the same time.

Finally, a decision to just get up and occupy brain space with other things like cleaning the kitchen, reading an article, or resolving a blog issue with tech support, seemed to, for a moment, ward off undersized and greater anxieties that pursued me.

After a while, to some degree, I was assuaged and moseyed back to the bedroom.  I slid under the soft white sheets, and snuggled a little closer to him this time. There is about a 2 minute window, in this Nebraska summer especially, before one of us decides it's too hot to snuggle through the night. 

Before long, we broke snuggle and I rolled so we were backs facing.  Instead, still needing physical comfort,  I reached out my hand to his and he stirred enough to recognize it, and gave my hand a knowing squeeze.  He then rolled my way and began to rub my back as if to say, "Everything's gonna be ok." 

He was "with" me and it was ministry to my daunted heart.

Our anniversary is tomorrow.  We celebrate. We reflect.  So many joyous highs and seasons of happiness, but also many dark and grueling periods. Many sleepless nights and nights of sound sleep. 

With one another.

alongside    near   beside    including    by    amidst   

One of the great powers in the world...."with". 

love.wastes.nothing